. After talking with a few of you and even experiencing it myself, I’ve come to see even more the importance of giving a little time to ourselves and our health and fitness. Please stop and think for a moment, because I can already hear what you are thinking (remember, I’m a mum, I can read minds. If you neglect yourself, the small amount of time that you have allotted to work on your own physical and mental well-being, in place of, say, making beds, sweeping floors, ironing clothes, etc what message are you sending?
The Hidden Message of Self-Neglect
As mums (and some dads feel this as well) we do everything for everyone else, our kids, our partners/husbands, and our family and always put ourselves last. Why? Because the people in our lives are important, our work at home is important (to us). Are you important?
We do everything we can to make sure we don’t neglect anyone but are we neglecting ourselves?
What’s the message we are sending?
We are saying, I am not important.
Setting a Positive Example for Our Children
We are showing our daughters that as a mum we come last, and we are showing our sons that everyone else is more important than their mum, mums are just there to serve others and they aren’t allowed to do anything for themselves. Is this the example we want to set, to teach our children?
I’m not writing this to make you feel bad but because I understand the position a lot of you are in, what you are feeling because I’m a mum as well!! I’ve been there, done that. I still question if I’m doing a good enough job with my boys or if I could be doing better. I worry that I’m not doing all I can to support and lessen the stress that my husband feels. I always feel that I could be doing more, for other people.
Where did that get me? 5 years ago? Anxiety, PN depression, panic attacks, feelings of worthlessness. The aftereffects are something I’m still having to live with day in and day out. Some days are good, others not so much.
The Power of Letting Go for Personal Growth
What is the difference now for me though? I’ve learned to let go. I’ve learned to schedule time for my wellness, and my growth because I wasn’t much good to my family when I wasn’t coping. I’ve learned not to be guilty about taking time to work on myself and to let the housework slide a little (it’ll get done eventually).
What’s more important to our families, a spotless home (that we feel stressed whenever our families are in it because they mess up all our hard work) or a happy, healthy, fun-loving mother? A mother who can laugh and play is strong enough to go on long walks with them, to wrestle on the ground with them (yes, I have three boys who love to wrestle with mum!). Play the fool with them!
Embracing Imperfection: The Key to a Happier Family Life
Grumpy, tired mum or happy, energetic mum? Which would you choose? It’s time to stop feeling guilty for taking a little time for yourself. In the long run, your family will thank you for it. Stop trying to be perfect! It’s those little imperfect moments that always mean the most to us anyway. Prove to yourself and to your family and friends that you are important. You should be the most important person in your life because if you don’t take care of yourself there is no way you can take care of anyone else.
So, go for that walk with the dog in the sun, the floors can be swept when you get home. Go for that coffee with your friend, it’s not the end of the world if the beds aren’t made but your friend could be the one to lift you up and together you can make each other feel better.
Prioritizing People and Moments: A Path to Personal Fulfillment
People are important, not things. Moments are important, be there. Time goes by so quickly, don’t miss it, and don’t spoil it feeling guilty because you took some time for yourself. Go and lift some weights, make your body strong. Go and spend time with your community, destress your mind, build friendships, and be important.
You are important and you deserve to do something to celebrate it!
Health and happiness to you all.